Finally, certified "Tatay" December 8, 2009

My Wife and I are pretty much convinced that our first child is my New Year's gift to her. It was around February when i got home from work where i experienced the most pleasant surprise from Wife when she came out of the toilet saying "Jel,i'm pregnant...".

It's quite funny because i think she doesn't know what kind of emotion she's going to convey. I asked her if she's sure since i don't want to be disappointed. I'm so ready to be a Dad already.

Unlike in the movies 2 pregnancy test kit are accurate enough for us. It would make more sense to confirm it in an actual clinic.
Next day is saturday so we searched online and asked recommendations from friends for a Female Gynecologist however first lesson we learned...Call for appointment in advance. You can walk-in but you'll have to wait for a couple of hours and most of the doctors recommended to us are fully booked alreaady and won't accept walk-ins.

Finally we found a Male Gynecologist in Thomson Medical Center. We were so excited that we don't want to put off the check-up for any other day. Seeing the first ultrasound of my baby is indescribable even she's no bigger than a 5 pesos coin. I can't help smiling throughout the session.

Here in Singapore Male Gyne are not bad since they do Ultrasound almost everytime to check the baby.

Throughout the pregnancy sometimes i hoped the baby would grow faster like Renesme in the Twilight book minus the gore. Luckily the effects of pregnancy to my Wife is minimal physically and emotionally.

I think the most trouble that she experienced is constipation. She's already constipated before so she needs to up the ante on the fibre department. We also feared her clumsiness so from that time in the bathroom were she almost slipped i always make sure that we shower together.

Every checkup day is a happy day for me since i could take a glance again at my baby and see how she's developing. I think most first time parents would mutter to themselves "So...this is how it feels like".

My Wife went back to the Philippines on her 7th month. Airline limits the travelling of pregnant women to 30 weeks. However this might not be the case on some airlines.
You have to bring the medical certificate from your Gynecologist also.

Her due date is Oct. 10 so i booked a flight on Oct. 8. But it seems that my baby is ready to see the outside world and she came knocking around 6am of Oct. 3.

My Wife still managed to inform me that she's already on labor. They rushed her to the humble clinic of her Gynecologist where her sister and cousin delivered their own child.

It's past 3pm already and she still hasn't delivered my baby. I started to get nervous. Her mother called to inform me that dilation is still 5cm. My Wife is already asking for a ceasarian however the doctor told them that they will wait for another hour, if not they will rush her to the nearby hospital for ceasarian. They will just inform my parents once they hit the 10cm mark.

My imagination ran wild. 4:30pm, 5pm, 5:30pm still no call. I was going to call her mother on 6pm but then i she called first. I thought it was her mother...it was my father instead.

And at that very moment i stopped breathing. "You have a daughter!" he said. I asked him "How in the world you got there so fast?" From Antipolo to Muntinlupa it only took them 45 minutes and it's afternoon.

I guess my Mother-in-law forgot to inform me that around 5pm they already called my parents. At the very instant that my father and father-in-law arrived at the clinic my baby is delivered.

A healthy 7.11 pounds baby girl and her name is Jelene Margaux To-ong. Jel for Jelmarven, ene for Magdalene where my Wife's name, Madel, came from and Margaux from the character in the book Sunday's at Tiffany's by James Patterson. My wife nicknamed her Maije.

Things i learned so far...
- Be prepared. My Wife has a checklist of the necessary things to purchase in anticipation of the delivery. I'll post it separately
- How to properly carry a baby (support head and back). Her head is still very soft.
- 1st month to 2nd month her milk formula (Similac Advance 0 to 6 months) is for 3oz = 1.5 scoop, 2oz = 1 scoop, 1oz = .5 scoop
- How to properly clean and change diaper
- Using baby wipes, wipe from genitalia to buttocks so the grit will be away from her genitalia
- Apply Bottom butter to prevent rashes before replacing diaper
- Bottom butter works on neck rashes too!
- Stretch mark creams did not work on my Wife (it also doesn't mean it will not work on others)
- Use distilled water for the milk (not purified or mineral and specially not tap water)
- Help your Wife on everything (she just went through the most exhausting physical activity she ever experienced)
- Newborn babies are relatively easier to take care since they sleep most of the time. You just need to feed and change her diaper
- Her 1st week will be her first bath and massage
- Newborns cries when its time to change diapers, 2 months and above doesn't so you have to check and know the habits
- Habits don't last
- Ask for help if you need it
- Use alcohol on excess Umbilical cord. It falls of on it's own so don't forcefully remove it
- Don't change the diaper first specially if she just peed or pooped, wait for a couple of minutes for the aftershock (followup pee and poop) unless you want to get sprayed
- Changing mat is advisable
- Drypers are ok however it's noisy when you remove the belt, in EQ you can feel the pee and poop in outer skin. Huggies is our choice.

Our First Baby February 5, 2009

How did i found out? Well my Wife was suspicious enough to buy a pregnancy test but we'd had so much false alarms before that i didn't think anything of it. First reason of doubt that she might be pregnant because she was 10 days delayed already and she said the latest is only 1 week which happened a couple of times before. Secondly, during the 1st week of January she took an emergency leave since she's not feeling well and very nauseated so she vomited a few times but mostly it happened during the afternoon. Usually in the movies morning sickness happened during the morning thus the word "morning" but having asked several mothers in my office it seems that vomiting can happen also anytime of the day.

When i arrived from Fairprice Junction 8 5th of February (thu.) night in the house with her i didn't realize that she already went in to the toilet to use the pregnancy test. While i was washing the dishes she called out to me and said she was pregnant! Not that i doubt her but i need to see for myself so i went it to the toilet and saw the two stripes and checked the instructions. Yup! It was positive indeed. I expected fear because it's not really the ideal time to have babies, recession and all but instead i was elated! Excited even. So i thought

Wow, so this is the feeling. The feeling of first time fathers.

or so i assumed it would be. I felt no fear of the future. I was just so excited and it felt just right. My Wife didn't saw that. It figures. She thought i was not happy at all.

Anyways my first thought was we need to go to a Gynecologist in the weekends. I have dragonboat training at 3pm and clinic hours on Sat. are just until 1pm and no Sundays so she need to take the half-day leave since she has work on saturdays 'till 2pm. On Friday i took the chance to ask for referrals and advice from my Mother friends at work. One referred us to a Gynecologist in Mt. Alvernia and another one in Raffles Hospital but both are fully booked when i contacted them Saturday morning. It's a good thing we found one at Thomson Medical Centre. Now the moment of truth. The confirmation that we've been waiting for. My wife had an ultrasound and for the first time we saw a miracle. The doctor estimated the fetus to be 5 weeks old and it's just like as big as a 10 cents coin or bigger. We didn't asked for a print out yet and the doctor told us to come back Feb. 21. I'm so excited by i try not to show it. After the checkup they gave us a baby bag which contains some magazines and diapers. Total costs is S$117. Initial checkup is costlier. The next one will only cost S$60 and ultrasound is S$30.


FEB. 21 (7 weeks and 1 day)

Ultrasound scan

Above is the ultrasound scan of our baby. Yeah i know...no shape yet. Printing costs additional S$10. It's a good thing the checkup is monthly.

Mar. 21 (11 weeks, 5 days old)

Ultrasound Scan



At last our baby is taking shape. Based on the measurement it's 4.87cm which according to my Wife's research is normal for 11 weeks pregnancy. No noticeable bump can be seen yet in my Wife.

By the way here in Singapore abortion is legal. I mentioned this because our doctor asked us if we want to do some tests while my Wife is pregnant. He asked us first what's our religion. It's some sort of an opening so that he can assess if he can bring up the question or not. At first i have no idea where he's going with the question. He mentioned that there's a test that measures the possibility of the baby having Down Syndrome while the baby is still in womb. Then i asked

If there's a test does it mean that it can be prevented?

He answered no. The reason for that testing is to have an option for abortion which we immediately declined.
(to be continued...)